We went to a bar to watch the second half of the Stillers game, and this has to be the most Pittsburgh appetizer of all time. Then again, we only went to one place, so maybe it isn't. We were basically the only ones in the bar without an obscure player's jersey on, and we were the only ones without a jersey on. Too bad the Steelers won, because apparently after losses everybody neatly folds up his or her jersey and carries it home due to shame. Added shame, I suppose, because they're already Steelers fans, after all.
The next morning I woke up to this excellent Rocket Dog dump truck helping with construction (photo by Viva). Apparently the Rocket Dog legend is growing despite its state of incompletion. Then we got two breakfast sandwiches and paid for three, so we wound up with three breakfast sandwiches. Thrilling, I know.
We went to Staples for some compressed air and this place was next door. It was like a slightly higher-end Building #19 mixed with a smaller version of Ocean State Job Lot. Things we briefly considered buying include a claustrophobia-inducing Optimus Prime helmet, and a pizza slicer with two blades that meet in the middle because I guess a single blade just can't get the job done anymore. Hopefully this innovation leads to a razor-blade-company-like arms race to produce the pizza slicer with the most blades. Things actually bought: an "Authentic" "Youth Size" NCAA football.
Maybe this would be kind of awesome ...
This isn't what I had in mind when I told Aimee a giant eagle would save me from her Texas horror dream.
Here I am with Viva and Brenna's turtle. And that reminds me, Brenna rocks. Even if she thought I looked different than I really did.
We went down to the park by the river and all the stadiums. Some guy who I wish I'd photographed was trying to fish lawn chairs out of the river with a grappling hook.
Here's a statue of Bill Mazeroski, commemorating the 1960 World Series. See that guy with the checkered shirt in the back? His wife asked me who that statue was of, and since I had just read the plaque, I said "Bill Mazeroski." He must not like when she talks to other people, because he just grunted "Read the plaque!" like a six-year-old. Sorry, lady. Your husband's a dick.
They have a lot of statues in Pittsburgh. Or, at least in this part of Pittsburgh.
I mean, a LOT of statues. Here's Mr. Rogers being posthumously whored out to convince people to fund a World War II memorial for Southwestern Pennsylvanian veterans.
This is a fountain/public bath deal where Yinzers catch Dengue Fever, while their children race down the steps hoping to smash their head and become true Stiller fans.
OWAH TEAM IS BETTAH THAN YOAH TEAM!
These are a Penn Brewing Company Oktoberfest and my 1994 Hot Topic wallet. There was a guy on the grass to the right of this picture that was passed out with his shirt off. He had a Hulk Hogan haircut. I wanted to take a picture, but I was afraid he would snap to life and murder me with drunken methrage, so you'll just have to take my word for it. It was about 4:30 p.m.; the waiter said he'd been there since 10 in the morning. This is at Jerome Bettis' restaurant, maybe a half mile from Heinz Field, where the Stillers had played the afternoon before. Do the math. There was also this trashy trashed girl walking around with about 10 purses/bags. She was wearing shorts that were so short that she had to block her vagina with her hands, which must have been tough considering the baggage she was carrying. Literally and figuratively. Most likely, she was closely related to passed out dude. It's really hard to see in this picture, but there's a little grey strip in the top-right quadrant of this photo, beneath the tree with the leaves. This is basically a chairlift for cars. Instead of driving around the hill, you can strap your car in and have a beginning-of-roller-coaster-like ride to the top. Kinda wish I'd done it.
Cool old-school building with old-school painted-on sign. That was a lot of hyphens.
All of the bridges in Pittsburgh are yellow, which is actually pretty cool. Later this night, Viva and I were watching the 49ers game and wondered why Golden Gate Bridge gets so much more play than Bay Bridge, which was built earlier and looks almost exactly the same except for the orange. We figured it was because, Oakland. I just Wikipedia'd it though, and Golden Gate's span is longer, so there you go. Ok, educational segment over.
Pittsburgh is the last city I'll be in that's got people I've been hanging out with in the past two or so years. It's looking like shit's about to get real for a little. But I clarified the first sentence because I'm hoping to see an old friend once I get into Texas.
I hope anyone who is reading this enjoys it. Send me a text so I can read it when I take a break from driving!
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