Austin, Texas was all about Dos Equis and guns. Oh, and I got to see Andy and Jen for the first time in like three years.
Andy has been married for several years and lives in a really nice house in a place called Pflugerville which I don't think is technically in Austin but is close enough to Austin to call it Austin. Not only is he married but he is a homeowner. It made me reevaluate living in relative squalor in decaying Boston buildings for the past four years, but it also made me realize I'm happy I hadn't been married during those years because I completely was not ready for things like mortgages and life insurance and if I had to do it over I might have changed some of the details but the plot would have remained largely consistent with my reality. But he isn't me (and I know he's quite happy about that), so good for Andy that he is happy. And it's not like that is some new development to either of us.
His wife, Abigail, was a super trooper all weekend. She hobbled around on a bum ankle to help show me a good time in Austin. I am very grateful for them to let me stay at their home and provide me oasis in Austin, which also happens to be considered an oasis of sorts in Texas. Boom, poetry. Anyways, now that that's out of the way ...
MOTHERFUCKING GUNS!
I'd been to a gun range in Massachusetts once and I think there was one other guy there. The one in Austin was a whole different story. There was a wait for us to get in. And once we got in, it was really hard for me to load the clip to our rented Glock 17 9mm, at least at first, because holding/pushing down on ammo while a bunch of other guns fire is kind of jarring and I kept getting spooked and thinking somehow I was blowing the bullets up in my hand and that probably would have been bad. But I realized such a thing was also basically impossible and eventually settled down. Also, our Glock seemed dinky compared to what some of the other people in there had. These dudes and dudettes (Monday is Ladies Day at Red's Indoor Range, if you take a close look at the sign) were firing straight-up Call of Duty shit. M4 rifles with holographic scopes and hunting rifles and shotguns and bigass revolvers. Somehow this powerful-as-fuck handgun that I knew would have blown the shit out of my face had I made a mistake was like a water pistol in contrast.
But, man was it fun. We split 100 rounds, but I think I shot a few more than he did since I was the guest and all. And you know what? Maybe it was the adrenaline or something, but that paper target was my bitch. Had it been some unarmed motionless nobody posing zero threat to my well-being, I would have killed the fuck out of him or her many, many, MANY times over. I was even better than Andy was, and he's the Texan (sorta). He only would have killed this imaginary ignoramus many, many times over; as far as I'm concerned that is a big difference. I was totally jittery in there though; being in a room full of people firing guns might do that to you, I guess. Or maybe just to me.
He was still at work when I got to town on Friday, so after replacing both of my car's headlights in an Autozone parking lot, I went to see the Capitol building because I could a) see it from the highway and b) there were signs pointing to it. And this place was pretty big and cool looking. Not Jerral World big, but definitely a little cooler looking.
Welcome to my blog, dude in frame.
This was pretty much the only statue outside of the Capitol that didn't have something to do with commemorating Confederate bravery. This one was for volunteer firefighters, or just regular old firefighters. For I know not of any firefighters who were drafted into firefighting involuntarily.
Oh yeah, this is Heroes of the Alamo. Not Confederate.
Super hard to read. It says: "In commemoration of the valor of the Eighth Texas Cavalry better known as Terry's Texas Rangers Provisional Army of the Confederate States. 1861-1865. Erected 1907 by surviving comrades." That's one.
This one is a monument to the Confederate dead. It says "Confederate Dead." ... "Confederate Dead" could be a rather awesome band name.
This view is slightly closer. Basically added because it still says "Confederate Dead" and that rules more and more the longer I think about it.
This, I believe, is a monument to the symbiotic relationship between man and cattle. Cattle provides man with cheap labor and sweet, delicious meat. Man allows cattle an early escape from their meaningless lives of stupidity and toil. Again, only 80% sure that was the message here.
This is a memorial for "Peace Officers," and I don't know if that's the same as police officers or something else, but I'm not gonna look it up. This monument looked like the one most likely to be skateboarded on (SWEEEET GRIIIIND).
Saturday night I went downtown with Andy and Abby to meet up with Jen and this sign was directly across from the parking lot we parked in. I know they're trying to remind you to lock your car or alarm it or something (or carry mad guns), but it seemed more like a suggestion to car thieves to check out that parking lot across the street, which exists in a place where people apparently need to be told by a huge fucking billboard to maybe lock their cars because there are car thieves about. Maybe not the best idea, Texas! I also saw a sign that I didn't get a picture of for a thing called the "Brown Hand Center" and I LOL'd because I am still 11 years old inside.
We met Jen and her fiance at a bar called Easy Tiger but it was only short and sweet and lasted one beer because they were going to a show. And I said I had to go home and try to sleep because I was gonna get up early and drive to New Mexico in the morning, which I'm still gonna do but now it's almost 1am because I'm writing this. Oops.
But I saw this nifty frog and I think it'll all be all right.
Probably also having trouble going to bed because tomorrow (today), I am just so excited for it. Aliens and blue meth. YES!
Screw it, one more time. **Chick chick ... BA-BOOM**
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